


One Hundred Breaths (You're Amazing)

by TeethHunter



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, Ruby can't ignore her issues for forever yall, mild unintentional self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeethHunter/pseuds/TeethHunter
Summary: If she swallowed down all those bad feelings and just kept pushing on, everything would be alright. (It's not alright)Oscar finds Ruby at a low moment post V7 and helps her pick herself back up.
Relationships: Oscar Pine/Ruby Rose
Comments: 1
Kudos: 136





	One Hundred Breaths (You're Amazing)

When Ruby is scared or upset, she counts to one hundred and then moves on. 

She’s done that since she knew how to count. 

If she stayed upset too long then Yang would think she was failing to take care of her, or her dad would spend another week in bed, or uncle Qrow would disappear for another month off on some mission or just on a binge.

If she counted to one hundred and smiled again, Yang would smile back, sometimes her dad would get up and take Zwei on a walk with her, uncle Qrow would stay and play video games with her.

If she swallowed down all those bad feelings and just kept pushing on, everything would be alright. 

There was a high pitch ringing in her ears and an ache right behind her eyes ever since Salem said those awful words to her. 

If she closed her eyes all she could see was her mother’s sad face on a stormy day, or Pyrrah’s death, or Penny’s– even after Penny was rebuilt that memory haunted her.

Ruby kept pushing forward, trying to hold back that feeling. It worked too– they beat the Ace Ops, they escaped. It was in that moment of peace that the darkness crept back up on her. It wasn’t a true victory after all. There was still much to be done; Oscar was missing, the lamp was missing, and everyone was exhausted. They landed the airship off in the tundra, not far off from Mantle. The whole group needed a moment to catch their breath and think. 

In this stillness and silence, the feelings Ruby pushed down crept back up her throat as burning, sour bile. She moved to flee the airship, she needed to be away from all her friends, they couldn’t see her like this. 

Yang grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“Where ya going sis?” 

And oh couldn’t it have been anyone else? Anyone but her sister that looked at her with such sincere concern. 

Ruby puts on a smile, she knows how to feign one that doesn’t look too forced. 

“I just need some air, I’ll be right back don’t worry!” 

There was doubt in Yang’s eyes, but she let her go. “Okay but.. Don’t go too far okay? We’ve got to come up with a plan here eventually.”

“Of course, this is just to help me think anyways. See you soon.” Ruby could taste the metallic tang of blood mixing with the other unpleasant taste in her mouth as she bit the inside of her cheek. 

So Ruby headed out, walking until she couldn’t see the airship anymore, then walking a little bit further just for good measure. Then she let out a held breath and let herself feel everything she had been holding back. She closed her eyes and focused on the terrible images that flashed behind her eyelids. 

Soon the Grimm came, tantalized by the strong wave of negative emotion. That was exactly what she wanted. They were all minor Grimm, Beowolfs for the most part, all ones she could take out easily with one swing of her scythe. She waited until they surrounded her before she opened her eyes again. In one fluid motion she extended her scythe and took off, slashing one Beowolf in half easily. She began to count to one hundred again, counting the number of Grimm she killed. 

After one hundred everything would be okay again, she would be okay again. 

Her vision started to tunnel at about twenty. 

She lost count somewhere around seventy, but just kept going. 

Her throat felt raw from screams she was hardly aware she was letting out. 

The snow muffled the noise anyways, and no one was watching. Or so she thought. 

Oscar had not stopped walking since he fell from the sky. He needed to get back to Mantle, find the others, figure out a plan. He hadn’t expected to find a swarm of Grimm out here. Curiosity got the better of him and he crept nearer.

That was when he caught sight of Ruby. 

It was impossible to look away. 

At that moment she was something both terrible and beautiful. 

She mowed down Grimm with deadly efficiency and with cries that might scare off even the most evil of creatures. The pack of Grimm was starting to dwindle, and Oscar was both too captivated by her and too afraid of what might happen if he stopped her to intervene. 

Ruby only noticed Oscar after she shot the last Beowolf through the head. All at once she froze there, staring at him staring at her. She had a feral look in her eyes, like a cornered animal deciding whether fight or flight was the better option for survival. Neither was an option as she sunk to her knees, breathing heavily and shaking too much to hold herself up. Oscar was knelt in front of her before she had the chance to process the fact he’d moved at all. 

This close up he could see bruises forming and blood slowing dripping from small gashes Ruby had gotten. How long had she been fighting with her aura drained? Another thought occurred to Oscar before he could even think what to say to her, and he was shrugging off his jacket to wrap around her. His own aura was depleted, but he had the backup of Ozpin’s magic that seemed to be keeping him warm enough despite the freezing temperature. 

Ruby hadn’t even realized her aura was drained. She hadn’t felt the pain or cold until right now. It hit her all at once, her bones ached and she couldn’t stop shaking. 

She just wanted to stop shaking.

Or maybe she wanted to disappear. 

No one was ever supposed to see her like this. 

Oscar put his hands on her forearms, gently pulling her forward against him in another attempt to keep her from freezing to death. She might not want anyone to see her like this, but Oscar was warm and that simple touch was so grounding to her, she leaned in to make it a somewhat awkwardly positioned hug. 

“You- I’m... you shouldn’t have seen this, sorry.” Ruby mumbled, her voice squeaky from her abused vocal cords. 

“I don’t know what’s going on exactly, but you’ve seen me at some pretty low points too.” He remembered when her seemingly unwavering positivity had made him so angry he’d yelled at her for it. The look she’d given him when he admitted how scared he was, he realized, wasn’t one of pity but of understanding. He readjusted her arms to make it a more comfortable hug. 

“You are amazing, Ruby.” She almost wished she couldn’t see his face when he said that. The sincerity and awe in his expression made her eyes burn. How could anyone see her like this and still think so highly of her? 

She shook her head. “I’m not, I should be back with my team, I should be coming up with a plan, I should keep moving forward.” 

“If you always keep moving forward, you might run right off a cliff. Did you think less of me when I told you I was scared of all of this?” 

“No, of course not.” Ruby answered immediately.

“Then do you think everyone would think less of you if they saw you like this?” 

She tensed, shrinking in on herself in his arms. He didn’t expect an answer from her, just waited long enough for her to let out a slow breath. 

“We really shouldn’t stay here, it’s too cold, and you’ve got some injuries to take care of.” Oscar pulled away to stand, helping Ruby to her feet as she swayed, unsteady. 

“It’s nothing big, they’ll heal right up when I build my aura back up.” She put an arm around his waist, not even pretending that she’d be able to hold herself up properly right now. 

“Yes, but it’s still not a good idea to leave wounds uncovered like that. I’ve got some band-aids in my bag.” Oscar stumbled slightly at first, trying to support Ruby’s weight and walk in the snow. Later he could think about how close they were and get flustered, but there wasn’t time for that right now. 

Ruby snorted, her eyes a touch brighter. “I haven’t used band-aids since I was eight!” 

“Yeah well, some of us weren’t raised to be huntsmen. I’m still learning to always keep my aura up, and paper cuts are the worst. So band-aids are handy, okay?”

She felt lighter already as she rolled her eyes at that, pointing in the direction of the airship.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt suggested by tumblr user whatthebuck1  
> @Crwby, let Ruby just go feral why don't you?


End file.
